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Saturday, February 6, 2010

On Falling in Love with the Self

I made a status here that read: It is better to feel pain if you’re in touch with your heart than be happy yet live in denial. Someone asked me if I was in love. I simply giggled and said to myself and her, “Well, yes… maybe, with myself.”

I am in love with myself now. This time I believe there is nothing wrong with it. I could be accused of narcissism or perhaps, selfishness. But this falling in love with the self is the kind that is not supposed to connote any selfish intention, but rather a realization of one’s reconciliation with himself/herself, like some part of him/her has died in the past because some harmful intruder killed it. And because of this, the self decided to consciously or unconsciously consider this part of his/her being really dead, because it has become unpleasant and unacceptable. And now, by the spirit of grace and love, the self now starts to recognize this phenomenon and acknowledges that it needs to be alive again, so that the self is made whole like it has always been designed to be. Now when this realization comes, the self now starts to be in touch with his/her heart, getting acquainted and gradually getting into a deeper relationship with her whole being. And this is where falling in love with one’s self comes in. I am falling in love with myself since I am reconciling with facets of my being I realize are desirable and are worth loving.

Now, going back to that status. It is sometimes painful to start recognizing the “dead parts of the self” and accepting that they need to be alive again. But as the old saying goes, ‘no pain, no gain.’ Without pain, or acknowledging it to be necessary and legitimate and actually allowing it to pierce through the heart, healing won’t come. But if one continues to hide things behind tag lines such as: “Look at me; I’m happy and successful.” Or “I have moved on,” then life is just going to be a play or a make believe for him/her.

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