Dear Second-Born Son,
Let me assure you that I am not writing you this letter out of obligation. There was a time when I felt that you also deserve one because I wrote to your older brother when he was only a few months old so I knew I had to wait for the right moment. Now that you are two years old, I know I am not driven by guilt. I have so many things to say to you. I am very proud to say that your dad and I wanted you so bad. You are indeed an answered prayer. Because of you, I will always have respect for the discerning abilities of babies. I say that because I know you sense a lot by what you see, hear and feel by experiencing life with us - by seeing that someone else has come before you and is doing pretty well. He is alive and pretty happy. You most likely sense that you can be a little more reckless because I have done the figuring out before. Been here and done it. And your instinct is probably right - I am more relaxed this time. Even though most things are still a learning curve for me, I pretty much know how I want to take care of a baby and I am now able to stand by my choices. You don’t talk much but you probably know that you are safe and loved - that you could jump into the pool and your dad will always catch you, that you could fall a thousand more times and I will always kiss your booboo, or you could cry and I will go running and offer a hug even before I understand what’s going on. Forgive me for bringing up your older brother too much. His existence will always mean something about who you are. When we had him, he had our full attention. Not so much with you. You were born seeing that you are not the only child, that you are not the only one we love. Most of your brother’s things were brought brand new but you get the hand-me-downs. But these things don’t matter. In fact, things do not matter. The things that you cannot see are the ones that do. Someday you will know what I am talking about.
Your birth says a lot about you. You came out less than 5 hours before we were going to force you to come out. In the future, you might take a lot of time, but you are still going to make it. That is my prayer for you. This world is broken and there are many cruel people out there. But we can still find beauty and awesomeness amidst the brokenness and good people still exist. I am hoping and praying that you will grow up to be one of them, and inspire others to do the same. I love you too much that it is tempting to think that you are my possession - but you really aren’t. First of all, you are God’s - and knowing that is comforting and terrifying at the same time - but that’s just the flesh and the spirit talking inside of me. I’m excited to share life with you and go beyond this poopy, drooly, messy, noisy stage of life. I am not complaining; I am just expectant. In the meantime, let me end this letter and get some sleep - for tomorrow, my human alarm clocks will start my day once again - will drain all my energy but will fill my love tank to overflowing.
With love,
Mommy
