January 18, 2013
Jody my darling,
When I saw your facebook status that said “sighhhh”, my heart was torn. Nothing else would wear my spirit down but to imagine you sad and lonely somewhere – without me. I was tempted every so often to treat you as fragile but many things about you showed your strength as a man. Your desire to conquer the world and share it with me showed so much in small and great things we did together. There was wildness in you that I could only succumb to, delight in and be amazed by. You brought out the woman in me in ways you can never imagine. You have melted my heart many times and I delight in our simple joys. I admire your sharp memory of the things that draw a smile to my face and your effort to bring them to me: bread stuffed with Nutella, Japanese corn, prawns, pink things, books, a good back massage and many more my love. You just don’t know how happy I was watching you walk to our breakfast table yesterday with a piece of corn in your hand and a huge smile on your face.
I lived life alone for many years. I took care of myself under any circumstance and often did things my way. But with you, I realized that my way is not always God’s way or the best way. Through you, God has been telling me to let go and let Him and you. God told me my time alone is over and it’s alright to let you take care of me. To do so, I have felt, is one of the greatest things in life. Just so you know, I have been enjoying being treated like a Queen. With you, I started learning to work together and communicate, instead of lording it over and imposing. It’s been taking much effort but I am convinced this is the best way to go for me and us. You are right, “we are a good team”. The “me, myself and I” was gone when I married you. My “I” is now a “We”. What is mine is now yours and vice versa.
Thank you for your humble heart – saying you are sorry is not hard for you. Thank you for being strong in difficult circumstances and for choosing to lead us in a godly path. One day when we were both stressed out and nothing seemed to be going our way, my heart was warmed when you led us in prayer and to a state of surrender to God. I praise Him for giving me a partner who is sensitive to my emotions and who helps me worry less and trust Him more. I thank Him for giving me a husband who helps me value people more than my goals, who helps me see the bright side of things and to be spontaneously happy yet efficiently focused.
Now that we are on opposite sides of the world again, I can only hear my heart screaming for you, my soul longing for your warm, tender embrace. I make a sigh of loneliness and shed tears – yet ‘tis a hopeful kind because we will be together again. I’m excited to live life with you more – to laugh about the great things and face storms together – to climb mountains, to swim oceans, see new places and eat good food with you. I’m thrilled to be the mother to your kids and raise them with you, to hug you often, especially when you need it the most and to pray with and for you. I’m looking forward to blessing others with you, to welcome friends and family into our home and share the abundant blessings and grace God will surely shower us with.
For now, my love.. take care. Think of me when you need a massage or when you need an Advil. For now, I am sure God will take care of you by other means while I’m miles away.
I love you.