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Sunday, June 27, 2010

Me in Passion Manila 2010

Wednesday, May 26, 2010 at 1:47am

I just arrived from Passion Manila 2010, a world tour concert of Chris Tomlin and Louie Giglio. Before the worship concert started, I prayed to God in three words: “God, surprise me.” Upon realizing that worship is not for me to feel good but to ultimately give praise to God, I added: "And I want to do this simply because you deserve it." I didn't know all the new songs sung in the concert, but I just found myself singing along with my heart warming up with praises to God. I felt Him, being worshipped by thousands of us, there in Araneta Coliseum, me being just one of them. Chris Tomlin could only imagine how the song that went "Your Grace is enough..." could have sent warm ripples around my heart, but in the middle of that noisy crowd, with God being the Star, He told me that He is looking at me, listening to my songs of worship. And that just made tears well up in my eyes. I have this thing about famous people. I do believe that at some point in everyone's life, there is this fame moment when everyone's attention is on you, like in a bridal march, in a graduation speech, and the like. And that sometimes, people close to us forget us, at moments like this. But God is so different, I realized. I could see Him as that one big God who created everything and yet, He blows my mind by telling me that in the middle of a crowd of millions, He can hear my voice: my not very good singing voice. The words in one of the songs went: "Your grace is enough.." and Yes, I realized, this is true. I may have a lot of concerns about my life but God did not spare His only Son, Jesus for me; How could He not take care of everything I need? Then at that moment I just sang to God with tears rolling down my cheeks. I don't have everything the world desires: money, fame or power, but that insight has told me it matters less. What matters is that I have a God like Jesus and I have everything I need. It feels like being in a romantic relationship; Nothing else matters but the Love that exists between the two people in love. I used to think God's pursuit of me is limited by time, like a vacation leave, or an off day, or a day at the spa.. but no, I realized, as long as I live God will keep on pursuing me. He will woo me with His love: with songs, with His unexpected revelations, with people around me, in many different ways. How can I say "No" to this lover?

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