On Letting Go

img source: https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/story-called-let-go-renjit-keshav

What does it really mean to let go? Let go, meaning to get over a hurt that would otherwise turn into something destructive. How does forgiving someone sound – say, in prayer form? To let go and let God is one of the reasons it is hard to be a Christian because the nature of the flesh is to take revenge and fight for one’s right which is the more popular option in the secular world since it seems reasonable and intelligent. However, the Bible tells us that, “There is a path before each person that seems right, but it ends in death.” (Proverbs 14:12) Defending one’s self sometimes becomes Satan’s subtle tool to make the believer lose trust in God. It is the non-verbal articulation of the soul that God will not defend them, so they must do it themselves. Many times, the believer does not even know they have fallen into this pit simply because they have not really pondered upon the situation – and mostly, due to lack of insight that could have come from spending time in the Word. So one, instead operates on the secular principle of justice. However, if one claims to be a Bible-believing Christian, he or she will live out the Biblical truth that true justice can only come from God (“Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord.” – Romans 12:19). If the believer truly believes that there is a God who will one day judge everyone then he or she should be all set in terms of fighting back. It is better said than done, though. This is why when hurt and disappointed, we must turn to God first – not to Facebook, not to our friends, but to God.

“Lord, this hurt is too much for me to bear and I feel like defending myself. However, you are my ultimate defender and so I turn over this hurt to you. I forgive (the offender’s name) as an act of obedience to you. Give me wisdom on how to deal with him or her or the situation.”

To let go and choose forgiveness over revenge is like putting down all your weapons before God and allowing Him to fight for you (“Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God.” – Psalms 20:7). It does not come from a place of insecurity or self-pity, but from a fervent faith in His command (“Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.” – Luke 6:36).  

Most importantly, one must come from the place of an intimate relationship with God, from the belief that even though everything else is failing, it is well with one’s soul.

Let go. Let God.

My Journey to Womanhood

Before I was able to receive the love of a man who happened to be my husband now, and before I was able to reciprocate that love well, there was a God who loved me first, who unleashed the woman in me, a Father who affirmed that I was beautiful, worthy to be cherished and wooed. God of course didn’t appear to me physically or spoke to me with a loud voice, but He relayed with me through His Word and Spirit. By the help of very special Christian friends, I was led to join counseling. I know counseling can invoke many negative thoughts and I am aware that most people are scared of it. The most common reaction is “I don’t need it.” Well, that’s what I thought too. But I am not ashamed now that I went through it. I will never be ashamed that I was a broken person, found by the grace of God and was pruned and went through the furnace to make me the person that I am now. I will never be ashamed to say that it was God who worked in me to make me realize my worth, to make me love myself, to receive His love so I that I can be free to love myself and others well. One very important testimony I will ever share is that I have learned that it is one thing to love people, but it is totally another to love them well.

 I can sincerely say now that I love my husband and that I am feeling the joy of being a wife to someone. I just remembered a seemingly ordinary day when I realized that I had built walls around me. I wailed in deep desire for them to shatter. Comfortable as they may have been, I knew in my heart they were not supposed to be there. Those were some of my most vulnerable moments – when I took off all my masks before Jesus in deep cries and through fervent prayers.

I didn’t know how to heal my wounds so I had to let God do it. True enough, He embraced me in my surrender, spoke to me gently in my silence and healed me through my stillness. It was the closest I could have been to Him. Then as the days went by, new energies sprung.. like winter turning to spring.. flowers sprouting out and blossoming everywhere and streams of water appeared – almost from nowhere. The Lord renewed me and made me see who I really am – a woman; a beautiful one He will always cherish; one He will always pursue; the bride He has been waiting for. (April 21, 2014)

Back to Love and Grace

img source: https://hischarisisenough.wordpress.com/2011/06/16/what-does-grace-do-for-a-believer/

There is a stage in a Christian’s life when he or she has discovered enough Biblical truths, has attended quite a number of Christian seminars and Bible schools and joined a bunch of Christian gatherings. At this point in one’s life, it becomes easy to point fingers at everybody else who the Bible describes as sinners and openly declare statements of faith typically out of a prideful motive. The Christian that proclaims Christ is now acting like a Pharisee. It is not easy to recognize when one is under this state – after all, the Christian is sanitized by the cozy and comfortable “fellowship” with like-minded believers every Sunday, praying for each other and often for protection against the world that is said to be persecuting them. The fact that the Christian has received Christ as Savior and Lord has somehow given him or her the license to easily pronounce judgments against everybody else who is different. The Christian who freely received grace and established relationship with God by it has practically refused to carry it out to the world that badly needs it.

These people – including myself every so often have chosen the ethical way instead of the loving way. We can always tell people what we believe. We can spend hours telling them Biblical truths assuming they haven’t heard of them before. We can spend years planning a conference to proclaim Christ’s love through an evangelistic concert. We can spend millions giving away Bibles or Christian books, tracks, etc. We can show them how many Bible verses we have memorized, stick the fish symbol of Christianity on the backs of our cars, wear WWJD bracelets and wear cross pendants. And yet will the world finally know Christ and stop perceiving Him as merely the good person, the wise prophet, a statue or a mere biblical character by these strategies alone? If we continue to minister to the broken world from a safe distance and replace discipleship through a loving, gracious relationship with long hours on the computer preparing for all sorts of church activities, are we still helping fulfill Christ’s Commission?

The world will continue to misunderstand Christ if we focus on looking righteous and eliminate being loving and gracious out of the equation. If we settle with sharing mere truth without love and grace, the Christian Church will remain to look like that – a church, just another religion. We may have forgotten that while Christ shared the truth, he also ate with sinners. While he rebuked, he also showed love. While he spent hours reaching out to a large crowd, he spent more alone with just a few – teaching and training them in the context of a heart to heart relationship. Love, grace, relationship, discipleship as practiced by Jesus turned the world downside up, not mere ethical practices, statements of faith, random criticisms based subtly on pride. Anyone can be ethical, even unbelievers can be excellent at adhering to universal moral standards but love and grace based on truth that come from a Christian’s heart can point people to Christ. According to Dwight L. Moody, “Of one hundred men, one will read the Bible; the ninety-nine will read the Christian.” (April 6, 2014)

Empty-handed Love

When my sister's family decided to move out to Mindanao, my 2 year-old niece, Theara was left with no other playmate - but ME. To my delight, she would come to my room early morning, wake me up and say breakfast is ready. She would watch me put make up on my face and force me to put some on hers. She would cry if I left to go somewhere and would yell out to say goodbye, I love you and don't forget to buy Mentos! When she got hurt, she would run to me and let me wipe away her tears. She would lay in my arms and listen to me tell her stories.

After a month, my sister's family came back and so did Theara's playmates. In the morning, I would realize I woke up late because the one who used to wake me up is now playing with my nephews outside. While they're busy role-playing, imagining scenarios, producing sound effects for planes crashing; while they're running everywhere laughing, sometimes fighting, I would just stand there and watch. Theara would never approach me anymore to say how beautiful my hair is or how much she liked my dress. I don't know what happened to her but for some reason, she would not let me hug and kiss her. She doesn't care anymore if I left for work. She is busy. She has her friends now.

Today, I came home with a huge announcement to the kids asking who wants to come to the store with me later to buy candies. All of them said a loud YES. I hugged Theara asking what she wants and with twinkle in her eyes, she enumerated the candies she wanted. I felt warmth in my heart. There's this special intimate feeling that only children can give - and I felt that again with her at that time. 

It dawned on me that I sometimes have to give material things to them to show my love and intimate feelings. And then I remembered God. Many times have God blessed me with good things that I was sure He was using to draw me close to Him. My laptop, printer, Ipod, bicycle, rubber shoes and even that dinner treat that satisfied not only my stomach but my soul through the company of good friends - that money from a friend that seemed like a gift dropped straight from heaven - that listening ear of a friend or that book that changed my life. 

But sometimes, God comes empty-handed. 

Life suddenly becomes a mess and I become just flat broke or something goes wrong with my relationships or my job. Then I am left with no choice but to gaze at the giver of all things. Seeing the tears in my eyes, He would tell me He is everything I need and I've got everything I need to not only survive but live an abundant life. In fact, I am blessed by Him this way. And I feel better after crying in His presence - not because I am made richer or a miracle happened in my relationships or my job - but I feel loved by no less than the Creator of the universe and beyond.

I sure love it when Theara finally hugs and kisses me because of my candies, but I will always love it more when she does it even without them. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"When our deepest desire is n0t the THINGS of God,or a FAVOR fr0m God,but GOD himself,we cr0ss a thresh0ld." - Max Lucado

"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the  circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." (Philippians 4:11-12)

God VS Religion

The plot to kill Jesus was not arranged by the common people, not those who would likely miss out on the things that come from God - the demon-possessed, corrupt tax collectors or promiscuous women. It was the religious who plotted the death of the Son of Man.

Imagine the religious today wanting to throw stones at Jesus and eventually begging Pontius Pilate for Him to be crucified –  not for anything else but that He claimed to be God. Among all others, it was the religious who were the most startled by Jesus’ revelation. It made them not only uncomfortable but angry – perhaps because the people’s attention about things of righteousness and spirituality were now drawn to Jesus – not to them.

They taught laws – Jesus taught grace. They modelled code of ethics – Jesus modelled love.

The Pharisees had high power; they could say anything and people believed them. No questions asked. So that when Jesus showed a different way in relating to God and men, mess happened.

Indeed, Jesus brought riot in the hearts and lives of not only the Jews during his time, but even those the Jews did not associate with - the Samaritans (Remember the woman at the well?). It is no surprise that when God comes and when He works, nothing is ever the same.

Lives are turn downside up. The blind can now see. Fishermen become preachers. The demon-possessed are freed. Prostitutes become witnesses. The dead come back to life.

Everyone is amazed and believes.

Except the Pharisees – the teachers of the law of Moses, the religious leaders.

Things have become extremely uncomfortable  that they simply have to exercise “religious” power to put an end to that which they failed to see as one coming from God – and that which is God, himself.

They think they see, but they are blind.