I am about 9 weeks pregnant today
and aside from the ultrasound photo I took home with me a couple of weeks ago,
nothing visual seems to prove that I am really with child. To be honest with
you, even though I prayed so hard for this baby, his or her existence in my
body does not seem real. He or she does not feel alive. I am looking forward to
my next doctor visit when I could finally hear his or her heartbeat for the
first time and not just see it beating on the ultrasound monitor. Perhaps by
then, I will completely believe that there really is a life trying to grow
inside me and I am not just pretending to be tired and hungry all the time.
This made me realize why it’s easy to call a human being this small with a
different name – because they are so tiny, so dependent, so underdeveloped and
so quiet.
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