Fighting Battles

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There are situations in life that are out to get the best of us, that shake our hearts to the core and make us feel like we have lost control. To lose control is one of man’s greatest enemies. We hate it when we are left at the backstage in the play of our lives or on the passenger’s seat instead of behind the driver’s wheel. We feel small when we are unrecognized, when people have empowered our weaknesses and have forgotten our strengths. We feel angry when people can’t seem to read our minds and make us feel that others’ feelings are more important than ours. We get pressured when people start unreasonably demanding things from us and have enumerated the reasons why we are a failure. Such are the things that drive us to cram for resolution, to change the status quo, to save ourselves from becoming smaller and smaller and less and less significant. We crave for stability because we don’t like to drown. When we have been tipped off our comfort boats, we swim hard and wonder why our unsinkable boat sank in the first place. We scream ; we whistle; we swim against the current because we have to survive – better yet, win. We attempt to figure things out and feel disappointed when none of our schemes worked. Yet we try harder. We silence the lambs by doing the extremes: good and bad. We appease our demons by giving money to the poor. We read a self-help book to make us feel learned. We clean the house or finish a project fast to make us feel productive. We scold our kids/nephews/nieces for not making their homework to make us feel responsible. We paint, write, dance, sing all of it off. Perhaps, art has the answer. If not, the pain reliever. We seek affirmation from relationships. If so and so does so and so, we should be fine. Otherwise, our hearts sing the song, “Why does the sun go on shining? Don’t they know it’s the end of the world?”

We run; we paddle; we grope; we struggle. We are restless, helpless, hopeless, tired. Some of us don’t even know it.The truth is, we can never be in control. We may have the paddle in our hands or the driver’s wheel but storms and earthquakes come and dogs cross streets from nowhere. We are oftentimes caught unprepared. But sometimes the best solution is to simply be still.

“The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still." (Exodus 14:14) When Jesus died on the cross, he did not only die for OUR sins but for OTHER PEOPLE’S sins and shortcomings against us – so that when we feel hurt/angered by them, we can always look to the cross and lift our burdens to Him. Life will always be messy and at times, we will never figure things out completely.  “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:9) 

Our not knowing is a part of God’s sovereign will in accomplishing His purposes in our lives. When we are left helpless and we fight our battles on our own, we are telling God that He is not fighting enough for us. Oftentimes, God only allows rejections, hurts, disappointments so we are left with no choice but to cling to Him. Sometimes, He will break our hearts into pieces – if that’s the only way to make it whole. He will turn our lives upside down for awhile – if that’s what it takes to keep it downside up.

Restless Senses

September 21, 2009

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One of the most common things men have in common is the need for resolution. In watching a movie, it irks us when in heading towards the climax, for some reason, suddenly the player breaks down or the disc crashes. In reading a piece of literature, the theme is very important. It is whereby the point of reading the whole thing all boils down. Whatever it is, at least we know the author has a point.

The need for a resolution is rooted in man’s innate sense of restlessness. We are forever searching for something, that one sense of completion that will appease that part of ourselves that pushes us to keep searching. And so we spend our lives pursuing a lot of things. And the average, not –lazy person becomes uncomfortable with not becoming a contribution to the world, by possibly whatever it is that he is able to do. He has simply got to do something and keep doing it. And he later becomes identified with it, with his work that later in life, when he is 70 or 80 and is expected to stop, he starts feeling useless, worthless, not only and mainly because his skin is shabbier or his eye bags bigger, but because he is now coming to terms with reality that having to stop working someday is true of himself today.

If we feed our restlessness this way, then life will just be a bunch of things we ought to do and accomplish. The question is, “is that all there is to life?” If “doing” is the source and the center of our identity then all our identities are doomed to fail one day.

There is more to us and this life than simply ‘doing’.



Permissible but Not Beneficial

September 18, 2009

This is one of those days when I am making a conscious effort of trying to know which activity I need to pursue or not like if it is better to do this now or do that later.. It is not a matter of time, but rather a matter of choice, making the good one, that which is most beneficial… you see, I am trying to live by the principle that everything is permissible but not beneficial… like I could choose to go for a movie marathon tonight, sleep at like 3 in the morning and that would be very possible on my part, knowing that no one will really stop me from doing that but then the question is, what good would it do to me? Would that be the best thing I could do on a Thursday night?

 

I could even choose to continue to watch a series of video clips of debates on Youtube. I just attempted to watch one awhile back, but then again, is having my brains, my HOTS stimulated beneficial for me at this hour? With my brains having just awaken from a 4 hour, deep sleep…? And with novels, reports, term papers waiting for me to devour… ? Many things seem interesting, like perhaps writing lots and lots of essays such as this, or reading tons and tons of books, specially those I have been trying hard to catch up on. With all the many things I could do in one day, I can only choose one that is the most beneficial, sometimes one that which will make good use of my time. Life perhaps is not just about doing the “right” things, but doing them “at the right time”. Maybe, just maybe, this is purpose-driven living which makes the most of this short thing called Life.

The Father's Heart

On a nephew’s birthday, I was in a room full of kids including my niece Theara. Theara left the room leaving me thinking someone will watch for her outside. Little did I know that she got inside their room. A couple of minutes later, commotion broke in the house. Theara had accidentally locked herself inside alone. We heard her frantically crying while telling her how to get out. My heart would skip a beat every time she led out a deep cry of frustration. I was so worried myself, all I could say was, “Don’t cry baby! It’s going to be okay!”

Then his dad came to the scene – my younger brother: concerned yet calm. He tried pushing the door so hard with his arms but it just made Theara cry all the more. She was screaming, “No! Stop it!”

My heart was crushed.

We tried breaking into the windows which seemed impossible. We thought of calling the carpenter neighbour who might just break the door knob.

Then just before we fell for more silly things like get a backhoe, his dad lowered himself and started speaking to her through the door – telling her he’s got a lollipop and she'd better get out of their soon to get it. All she needed to do was follow his instructions. My brother calmly told her two year old daughter to hover towards the lock, lift it and push it to the left.

A few minutes later, the door opened. Dad and daughter embraced – tears streaming down her cheeks.

And it dawned on me how powerful the words of a father are and how crucial it is to follow his instructions.

Looking at my brother’s effort, I knew he was the most desperate to get her daughter out.  He didn’t care about the door, his arms, the doorknob, the windows. Her freedom is everything to her.

Equally important is Theara’s part in breaking herself free. She wanted freedom and she knew her father was doing his best but she had a role to play – trust in him and follow every bit of his instructions. 


So it is in our relationship with God. It's when we trust in Him, surrender completely and listen to what He says that we have just set ourselves free.

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"If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" (Matthew 7:11)

Uncomfortable with Jesus

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Having Jesus around Jerusalem was the most uncomfortable thing that happened to the lives both of the Pharisees and the common people. Jesus’ coming was like a stone thrown into a still pound, a loud trumpet in a quiet afternoon or a wayward entering the President’s banquet. He disturbed the status quo – people were shocked, amazed and angry everywhere. A man born blind could now see. A woman bleeding for many years is now healed. Water is turned into wine. Evil spirits entered pigs’ bodies -throwing them off a cliff. A dead man is brought to life.  If that wasn’t enough – He forgave man’s sin and said that He and the father are one.

The Jews only had two options – to believe in Him completely or to get rid of Him – but with everything He had already done, they couldn’t simply brush it off.

So despite everything good Jesus did – He was killed - because it was uncomfortable having him around. After all, “if they allowed him to go on like that, soon everyone would believe in him. Then the Roman army would come and destroy both their temple and their nation.” (John 11:48) Apparently, man’s nature to preserve himself is evident in this reason. They could not see the work of God because they are blinded by worldly matters.

Self-preservation in this context was the attempt of man to get rid of what he deemed a challenge to his comfortable state.

“WE WERE FINE WITHOUT JESUS. AND WE WILL BE BETTER OFF WITHOUT HIM SO LET’S JUST GET RID OFF HIM ONCE AND FOR ALL.”

Even those who experienced Jesus’ love and compassion – those who witnessed the five loaves and two fish multiplied to feed them five thousand, those who drank the wine that Jesus made from water, those whose husbands, wives, children experienced healing – were all helpless in trying to stop the Pharisees.

In unison, they cried, “Crucify him! Crucify him!” Got rid of him once and for all.

Little did the Jews know that at Jesus’ expense, He was using their self-preservation for their ultimate good. God chose from the very beginning to redeem the fallen mankind at the expense of Himself. He looked past their spits, their whips, their crowning him with thorns and their nailing him on the cross so that He could ultimately save them. While He was suffering, He had these people in mind – and the rest of us today. The cross is a reminder of that pursuit – the weight Jesus chose to carry, the instrument of His death so that He could save the lives of those who plotted it.

We are often blind to our weaknesses and we are finite beings who make mistakes. We are often like the Jews who were blind to what Jesus was trying to do. But every turn of events in our lives – be it a joyful, a sad, a painful one is God’s way of pursuing us - of making us know Him as He really is. He can turn everything around and make us a new person. What he did around 2000 years ago should impact our lives today. We can either reject Him or accept Him completely – but we can never ignore Him.

If we accept Him into our lives as Savior and Lord – yes our lives will never be the same – he can make us stop our vices and addictions, he can relocate us, will break our relationships, take away our jobs but we will experience a new one that will be far beyond our wildest imagination. If we reject or ignore Him, however, He will also reject and ignore us when judgment day comes.

If you want to accept Jesus into your life, pray this simple prayer of faith (it’s not the prayer that saves you; it is your faith – the prayer is just a guide)

“Dear Lord Jesus, I need you. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life and I receive you as my Savior and Lord. Thank you for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Take control of the throne of my life. Make me the kind of person that you want me to be.”

Amen

Going for the Less Wild Lovers

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At some point in our lives, we find ourselves simply tired of being a Christian. We drag ourselves to church, refuse to talk about God and do not allow scripture to meddle in our lives. However, the thought of completely losing religion seems scary so we let God stay at the porch - near enough for emergencies but far enough for convenience. He has now become a mere Bible character, a painting on the wall or just a statue at the altar. 

The Jesus we have accepted into our lives some time ago is a stranger once again. But who could blame us? Life with Jesus is an adventure - a wild one. He does not allow that we are simply kept warm in our homes for a long time and merely get by. He takes us to wild oceans - storms and all, to rain forests and rocky mountains. We'll get wet in the rain, stumble on slippery roads, fall in pits - but for sure, He is in his sneakers walking with us - laughing with us at our slips, carrying our load when we're exhausted, letting down a rope so we could climb up from a pit - at times, he will make us stop and simply sit with him to marvel at the sunset or look at the fog or listen to the birds sing.

This is not the kind of life many people want, though. They prefer less wild lovers - those who appear stable and less surprising, those who seem to love too much, they won't ever cause pain, those who abhor changes specially those that shake the heart to the core. They hate adventure - they prefer safety. They prefer comfort. They hate intimacy.

What God Truly Desires

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Living in the Philippines that is said to be “the only Christian nation in Asia”, Filipinos can talk freely about Christ anytime, anywhere. In fact, 80 % would say that they have a firm faith in God and believe that He is a big help in their lives. We say that He is our guiding light, say prayers more than once every day: morning, before going to bed and even before taking a shower and in malls at 12 and 3 PM. We celebrate his birth not just for a day but for more than 5 days at the end of the year. We mourn over his death and would even walk miles contemplating it. Some even copy the very suffering of Christ and would have themselves crucified. We loathe atheists and we think highly of the religious. We go to Sunday masses and services and we give tithes and offerings.

But we spend the rest of our days and nights worried and restless. Feeling the great need to protect ourselves, we compromise. We don’t pay our taxes. We give false declarations about our incomes, our expenses. Feeling taken advantage of, we say hurtful words to each other and about each other. We curse. We lie. We refuse to love. We don’t mirror the very decrees our “faith” advocates.

When asked about our principles in life, we come up with postmodern ideas: you deserve to be happy; life is all about you; you owe it to yourself. You. You. You. We are more than confused about the way life should be. We claim to be Christians but our hearts are far from Christ. We believe in God but we live as though He doesn’t exist.

Most of all, our religious life is purely religious – just a compartment in life – a supplementary to make us feel right about ourselves,  giving us a feeling that we are not completely doomed. We play our game and we keep God on the bleachers – sitting there watching, not as a coach we allow to direct, teach, train and celebrate our victories with us. We pray that He will guide our marriage, that He will give us the “man” or “woman” who has knocked us off our feet – but we don’t listen when He tells us to let go, or when He tells us how to make things better.

We want the best of what we think He could give but we are not ready and willing to give our hearts to Him, to really know Him – to listen, to learn and to surrender. We want the best of life – but we have not turned to the only one who could give it. We want just a portion of God, not all of Him. We want to keep Him in our home but we are busy with other things. We think that we have it all made up by our piety and the things we do for Him. The truth is, God does not need us. He will still be God without our tithes, our worship, our fasting, our masses and services. What He desires more is our hearts – a child-like attitude in approaching Him, a willingness to give it all up in exchange for a life that He will bless and use to bless others. With this kind of life, God would often tip us off our comfort boats, our security blankets and our little comfy world. He would break us – only to make us whole. He would make us cry – only to comfort us with His Spirit. Then we end up satisfied, peaceful and joyful – not because we have everything or everything is going well – but simply because He is there. His presence would be enough. It would not be a life free from pain or the other nasty things, but one spent knowing the almighty God who will just keep blowing our mind away. We would be so busy knowing Him, loving Him and being loved in return that everything else would become so small and easy to handle.