It Does Not Have To Be Like That

image source: http://stay-at-homemomwhoknew.blogspot.com/2011/12/hope.html

Thursday, June 17, 2010 at 10:01pm

It does not take a genius to believe that there is more than what meets the eye.

I believe this. And if I were a stranger and look at myself, I would not know who I was and how I have become who I am now.

Because I am not the same person anymore, it is very real to me how change is possible to anyone, anywhere...

I am perfectly aware that if a stranger would talk to me, he/she would not know of my struggles in high school, my drink-till-you-drop nights out with friends (I used to be the one asking friends out for a drink.), my experiments with cigarettes (I smoked because it looked cool, specially in a bar like Prince of Jaipur, rubbing elbows with the stars), or my relationships (my co-dependent, clingy ones...).

Now I know that life does not have to be a constant struggle...of endless wondering if it has any meaning after all..

In life, we remain to be restless if our hearts are left wandering and searching.. For in each one's heart is a storm... and I'm not that very old, but I have tried different sorts of umbrellas and coats to shelter myself from it... but it comes scary with thunder and lightning.. and it's like being in a crowd but still feeling alone...

I have tried crying until my tears are dried up and no one could even hear me...

I have tried following my heart... I tried loving my way...

But the answer was not there...

I would look at myself in the mirror many years ago and I did not like what I saw..

I had my share of glorious achievements but still, life remained pointless...

I look at myself now and I like what I see... not because I have the face of Heidi Klum or Angelina Jolie's body (which is of course, just an example :)), but because through the deep way God has worked in my life, I have started coming to terms with who I am inside, and how God values me... that with or without other people's comments, I am a beauty..

I look at the work of my hands and I delight in the fruit of my labor, not because I am the richest woman alive or I have the brain of Einstein (another example :)), but because I have finally appreciated being able to do things: to live, to love, to serve, to learn, to teach...

Life does not have to be that bad... It sure is difficult sometimes (it's a storm remember?) but with God walking with me every day, it's not just a safe walk, like a fun stroll at the beach, but an adventure in the midst of any storm (even if it's the Ondoy-type).