The Big Audience

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Life in the workplace is probably one of the places where it is not so hard to feel one’s worth.  Just do your thing right; walk the extra mile; make your boss smile; come up with great ideas and execute well and you will be recognized and regarded as important for all your efforts and exceptional talents. It’s also easy to feel like you are making a huge difference in the world when you are in a big ministry with 200 people under your leadership and you are out there feeding the hungry, making Christ known and hugging weeping strangers who just lost their homes to an earthquake. Even as you are going through hard times in your service for God and people, you can look forward to sharing a glorious testimony and see a twinkle in people’s eyes because you have again inspired them to make the best choices in life despite all its difficulties.

Yet it is another story when God takes you to another journey when you no longer have a big audience. This is the season when your biggest ministry is reduced to one or two people and to a cat, a dog and a few chickens and rabbits. This is when you can’t give in to your food cravings to protect the growing life inside you – and yes, that is a thankless job in the meantime and sometimes, what you get is a kick instead or a heart burn and sudden shortness of breath. While before you would spend three hours designing a curriculum for high school kids feeling like a catalyst for societal change in the process, you are now spending three hours keeping the house together and thinking of ways to move things forward. Sometimes, that means googling an interesting recipe, engaging in it for an hour but coming up with something entirely different. Sometimes that means feeling happy you got the fire going and realizing later that you were not supposed to build fire in the first place because 65 degrees is not cold enough for others.

When you think you just moved mountains by moving one piece of furniture, but there is deafening silence rather than a round of applause but you think it’s ridiculous to post about it on Facebook, you get tempted to doubt whether it’s worth it to move mountains in the first place. Yet, I realized that when I hear no words or when I don’t see my name in the paper, that’s when the voice of God should be loudest. I realized that in everything I do, I can glorify Him– whether it’s teaching gerund phrases to high school kids or making sure I don’t burn the house down.  It is humbling to be a housewife and a mother – but God considers it a great calling. What a big audience does not see, God sees. What 200 people do not hear, God hears. God is my biggest audience. (Jill Christianae Robinson)

The Perfect Solution

 

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The Lord Jesus is not popular and controversial for nothing. To many, he was just a wise man that came to earth to set an example. However, Jesus was more than just a role model. According to the Bible, God made peace with everything through his death on the cross. (Colossians 1:19-20)

Jesus' death on the cross means everything to us who believe. It's the ultimate solution for the most major conflict of life which is MAN VS GOD. It did not only bridge the gap that separated Man from God, it continues to provide solutions for everything else that comes with accepting such truth in one's life.

Faith in this sacrifice for mankind is like that access road finally made and even concretely paved. It is that deus ex machina in a movie, that vaccine that stopped an epidemic, that light bulb idea that sparked an invention.

Jesus' death is the perfect, exact solution to the biggest cryptic drama of living and dying. It paid for ALL the sins of mankind. Therefore, there is no SIN too small or too big that God will not forgive. Otherwise, His plan was a complete failure. Jesus is not only the way to peace; He is the peace. He is not just the way to the answer; He is the answer. Jesus taught man how to live - not so that man may be saved; but that man may know how to finally LIVE because he has been saved.

Loving or Just Filling a Void?

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When we are being kind to the one we love, what are the chances that we are merely repressed and scared to challenge circumstances and materialize our fear of isolation? When we are being patient and silent and opt to say the good words instead of the bad ones, what are the chances that we just hate changes and that we’d rather live peacefully with those we are not even at peace with? Could it be that we are merely preserving ourselves when we refuse to hurt them and try our best to prove that we are the real deal and always will be? Could it be that we are too scared of a broken relationship in the future that we’d rather have our partner be the antagonist so just in case, we won’t have anything else to think about but move on? When we try to be good to them, is it because we care or are we simply trying to keep them because they fill a void in our lives?

There is a thin line between loving others well and using them to fill an empty space in our souls. I use the phrase “love others well” because I believe we are all capable of loving; some people just don’t know how to do it well. I still fail sometimes yet since I came to know the Lord Jesus, I have learned that loving others is not enough – I should do it well. The love I give to them must be an outflow of God’s love for me. The popular way of loving though is the kind that sucks life out of somebody else, the kind that destroys rather than builds, the kind that kills rather than gives life.

We cannot give what we don’t have. The reason we are failing could be that we are drawing love out of an empty cistern. We have nothing more to give. We seem deprived of love ourselves yet we are disillusioned by the thought that we are heroes or heroines in somebody’s life, and have perhaps been possessed by the notion that our “love” is the drug they need. No pun intended.

To love well is to know what love really is. We could start with it being patient and kind according to 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. If you believe that it is otherwise, then perhaps this is not the thought you want to hear. When we love people, some may love us back, some may not but if we are to love well, the reciprocation should not be the motivation. We don’t love simply because it is exciting. We don’t love because we feel empty. We don’t love because life is a mess. We love because it is a God-given gift and privilege. We love because it is God’s command and it blesses others. We love for many good reasons and we love especially because God first loved us (1 John 4:19). He has so much love to give and he created our hearts to be capable of receiving it – we just need to open it up. 

Simply Because

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Life is not always exciting. It is at times difficult, confusing, boring, plain, depressing, sad and disappointing. This is so if we are looking at events or the people that make them happen or even worse, the frailties of our very being, that weak part of ourselves we have been trying to deal with all our lives – wounds that run deep and date back to childhood. We are in constant watch of our tendencies, careful not to make any more mistake. Then sometimes, all we could do is sigh – simply because life has not turned out the way we want it.

But the truth is that there is a huge percent of life and destiny that we cannot control and we have the option to be grateful, to be hopeful, to feel blessed, to try harder and not grow tired of doing what is right, simply because it is the right thing to do, simply because God is pleased. We can choose this path simply because God is with us, simply because we have a personal relationship with Him and simply because He is much greater than Life itself.

On Being Secured

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Many people have spent most of their lives securing their world, building fences around their heart so that life is smooth-sailing. They spend much of their time every day making sure everything is in place and none will fall apart soon. Nothing wrong with protecting one’s self. In fact, this is one natural instinct of mankind - yet, if the act has placed an obstacle for God to intervene then such goal, however seemingly normal, is only rooted in fear, pride and disbelief.

Too much craving for control is synonymous to mistrust in what God could possibly do – not only to the circumstances of our lives, but to our hearts as well. It is saying NO to God’s invitation to come to him those who are weary and burdened and He will give them rest (Matt 11:28). It is saying NO to the Spirit of God whose presence could give peace, change minds, spark wisdom, inspire a thought and affirm one’s worth.  This world has placed so much emphasis on façades and many have put up a pretty and happy front yet deep inside are longings, loneliness and confusion. We live in such a broken world that people try to make things happen to make their lives look normal.

I have watched Episode 1 of the series, the Desperate Housewives. One character there named Bree is a control freak, though everybody knows it except her. She’s also an alcoholic but she would just attend AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) sessions to prove that she was being a good parent.

Most people in the world are like Bree. They go through life controlling facades. They tend their gardens well; their house is clean and they are even known to be “good” neighbors. But inside their homes are broken lives and relationships. What Bree is guilty of is pride. She has shielded her heart from vulnerability – and if I may say from God’s desire to touch her life. I wonder if someone has ever told her about Christ – about His love that changed many lives for the better, including mine. The sad thing about people like her is their unawareness or denial of their problem.

We could only secure ourselves to the extent that we know best but life will always be uncertain. There will always be sink holes, confusing crossroads and sad events that seem useless. Yet until we relinquish the control of our lives to God, the giver of real security then none of these things will make sense. Until it all boils down to God and His plans, then everything will boil down to nothing and unless God alone is enough, then nothing will ever be enough.

Married Forever

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I realized that to come to a personal relationship with God through Jesus Christ is to pledge to stay delighted in Him despite any situation one is in. The essence of Christianity is not to devise one's own plans, manage one's own life outside the master plan of God and beg Him to bless them; the essence of Christianity is to be in constant communion with the Father by prayer, by reading His word and by living out His truths by grace through love whatever happens. It is to bask in who God is and allow one’s self to be a channel of His work in the world. Everything else falls secondary to what God wants so bad from us – our hearts, hearts that are generally committed to a lifetime of surrender to Him, a lifetime of commitment to be driven by His guidance.

When people reject Christianity, it may be that they don't want to be intimate with this God that appears to be unsafe because of his many surprises. The Lord is an adventurous God indeed. He takes people to roller coaster rides, to mountain hikes, to bungee jumping, to SCUBA diving and the like. He does not promise safety from bruises, cuts or falls but He promises that in the end, after all the adrenaline rush, one is eternally secure.

I cannot emphasize it enough that the essence of being a Christian is the relationship itself that which should go through thick and thin, for better or for worse, for richer or poorer. Yes, like that which requires the highest commitment mandated in Marriage. When we accept Jesus in our lives, we are married to Him - forever and ever. And if it is easier to understand the love expected to manifest between a husband and wife, then that is what I mean.

Playtime in My Generation

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When I was a little girl, I often stayed outside to play with my brothers, my cousin and the neighbors - except my older sister who liked to stay indoors. We had our hands on anything that looked interesting: dead insects, broken things and weird plants. Our favorite afternoon game was “Bato Lata” or in Tagalog, “Tumbang Preso”. Nothing felt more glorious than making the tin can fly as far as possible by hitting it with our flip flops so we could make it to home base (works like Baseball). Those were our first tastes of victory – and they were very physical. At times, we hit each other's face, bumped each other’s head, stepped on others’ toes or elbowed each other’s nose. I learned a hard lesson about cheating through this game when my leg hit a log while trying to run outside of the game area. The injury was quite bad that I was brought to the hospital to have a minor operation. 

But injuries didn't stop me from playing hard, especially when it’s an exciting game like “Chinese Garter”. The goal is to jump over the garter as it is held higher as the player levels up. Being able to buy two pieces of “Chinese Garter”, instead of one, was always a dream come true for me. The sight of them in a box at the store outside my school made my heart tickle and motivated me to save money. I often played this game with my older sister and some of her classmates even though I often found it unfair for big girls to be playing against small ones. But when you have no choice and you badly want to play, size will not matter. This is one of the games that built my little dreams, my little victories and my desires to win. My scars will always tell those stories.

Some of my childhood mishaps left no evidence though. One was when I fell into a fishpond. My aunt’s house which was just a few blocks away from home had this famous fishpond that many of us kids often visited to catch some small fish with our hands. In my obsessive desire to do so, I leaned over too much that I fell into the pond.  It was just a small one– about 3 square feet and the water was shallow, I couldn't have drowned but the fall caused a commotion to the entire household. One had to be told to make me some hot chocolate milk, another to get a towel and another to tell my mom about it. I was instantly taken out of the water with weeds all over my head and was brought inside to have some hot chocolate milk.

In my generation, we were spending 95 % of our playtime outdoors and just 5 % with computer games. The 5 % had to be further divided among my three siblings and my cousin, Flor. We would sometimes fight to get a turn and tried hard to make Mario or Luigi stay alive so we wouldn’t be replaced. To help us decide who should go first, my father would make each of us pick a toothpick. Whoever got the longest one got to play first, followed by the second longest and so on.

The 95 % was spent on games that were at times risky - we played on the street and had to stay alert for vehicles passing. Our games were surely dirty – mud and dust would get mixed with our sweat and be all over our shirt. Our games were sometimes painful - would break our bones, cut our knees and bruise our arm. We were often hungry and thirsty but there was nothing like going home to a glass of ice cold water and fried bananas.

Even despite all these scars on my legs, I wouldn't trade my childhood for anything else. Though my playmates and I fought all the time, I wouldn't have it any other way. I likewise don't wish we had been richer so I could buy all the Chinese garter I wanted. Yes, we often had to make do with what we found: old junk stuff at the backyard and some mud and there were many things we could only dream about as kids: large doll houses, tree houses, bicycles, remote controlled helicopters, scooters and the list went on. We didn’t tap or click to be entertained. We didn’t need an ipad or an internet connection to be happy. We connected by simply being together. We simply had our physical selves, some guts, some dreams, and if I may add, some cans and flip flops– to have loads of fun.