Unschooling

 

img source: https://mysunnysideuplife.wordpress.com/homeschooling-fun/

I might be in trouble for sharing about this raw passion but I am starting to become attracted to the idea of unschooling, a subset of homeschooling, which is basically the concept of following the child's interests that eventually lead to science, literature, music, history and all the things that interested people before anyone thought of them as subjects (Stevens, 1994).

 At this point, the idea still sounds a little bit odd for me - but that's because like many other normal human beings I got schooled under a regular education system in my country, plus I spent four years studying how to teach English and Literature to high school students at one of the best universities in the Philippines that specializes in teacher education. During my senior year, it had just been recognized by law as "the Country's National Center for Teacher Education". I was and still am very proud of that. I enjoyed learning about teaching - strategies, philosophies, the whole shebang and was just a decimal point to graduating cum laude. I love teaching with my whole being, however, there is something about the "general idea of schooling" that turned me off. In fact, I remember feeling utterly depressed during my practicum days because I started to develop doubts about the profession I thought I wanted. My experience handling 80 kids in the classroom for a few weeks made me start really questioning classroom disciplinary practices, routines, the need for standardized tests and the seemingly absurd idea of shoving content into the kids' throat. It felt like school was a constant struggle for everyone involved. Despite of this, I applied for a job as a high school teacher at a private school right after I graduated. That was some experience I would never forget. I made some friends there and learned many things but my internal struggles were simmering underneath my performance on the job. Somebody asked if I wanted to eventually teach at a public school (which is usually considered a better route for most teachers in terms of pay) and I said NO. The idea alone was depressing for me. Somebody asked if I could see myself becoming a principal someday and I said NO. I just could not stand the system. I quit my job and worked as a writer the following year. It was not so much about policies and the politics involved as it was about "schooling" in general and the idea of making square pegs fit in a hole, about the imposition of subject matter to kids who will most likely forget half, if not 70 percent of it. I felt like we were wasting a lot of time. But before I proceed, I just want to make it clear that the university where I graduated is a really great school and my professors were excellent. My paradigm shift has more to do with the concept of "schooling" in general as opposed to a specific institution. I also know that even though I feel this way, I also know that as imperfect as it is, the education system has still worked for some people and has produced successful individuals. In addition, I would like to make it clear that I still believe in higher education, that some people should spend many years studying a specific field like medicine and law. I am talking about educating children, toying with a few "what ifs": What if we follow George Barnard Shaw's advice and let kids pursue knowledge rather than let knowledge pursue them? What if we allow children to focus on who they really are and spend more precious time on what they are inclined to and what they are good at? What would our world look like if everyone spent their childhood this way?

        Fast forward about 10 years later and we decided to be a homeschooling family. We have many reasons why we have chosen this path and one of them is the decision to take sole responsibility of what and how our kids will be learning. We want to shape their minds according to what we think they should learn - not what the government thinks they should learn. However, I have had serious doubts about our choice. Even though, more and more families are starting to homeschool, we are still the minority. As soon as school started for all the other kids last September, that was when it hit me: Instead of feeling left behind, I have to embrace this journey and seek out our tribe and make friends with like-minded homeschooling families. I have to relearn strategies, think outside of the box and apply what I learned in college, and customize it to my son's needs, personality and interests. I have to make learning fun and interesting for him.I have to teach as if the world is our classroom and learning is a natural part of life.

        Life has no guarantee and I might have another paradigm shift in a year or two. But at this point, I couldn't agree more with what John Gatto said during his acceptance speech for the New York City Teacher of the Year Award in 1990: "Schools were designed by Horace Mann ... and others to be instruments of the scientific management of a mass population." We want to give our children more than that. Teaching as many as 20 kids at a time seemingly sounds more efficient, while concentrating one's time, skills and effort into just a child or two seems a bit excessive. But are my children worth all of that? I am going to say yes to that.

 

A Walk to Remember

I took my nine year-old nephew out for a walk one late Sunday afternoon when there was no electricity in the house. His protective mother was giving her litany of do’s and don’ts as he and I put on our sneakers - having only one thing in mind – FUN which means a chance to talk like there’s no tomorrow and experience things together. My nephew is a good conversationalist, he probably makes more sense than some adults. He asks questions that are sometimes out of this world, I feel challenged to think deep  and develop skills to answer them. Because he is a kid, I figured it requires conscious effort to deal with it. I perceive it this way because as a kid, I too had a lot of questions – questions not answered well or not at all. He would ask often about science – animals, nature. Looking lost in a moment (in deep thoughts, perhaps), he would look up to me and share a trivia. Because of him, I now know how to counter-attack sharks (punch them in the nose) and that butterflies get to live only for about two weeks and that it’s strange, based on his analysis, that my mom never kills butterflies but kills caterpillars. His mom and my mother (his grandmother) are protective, they curse mosquitoes that fly around him. I have a different view about protecting people, though. Believing it should go beyond the physical, I deem more important is protecting them from ignorance.

        So off we went to our destination – this place by the sea. This is where I often go for a walk, to jog around and to spend time being alone. On the way, I took him on stone edges overlooking the sea. Despite his hesitation, he took my hand and sat on the edge with me – watching fish swim under the bridge and little children pick up shells with their father. He was amazed at the sight of an infant in a stroller just left on the beachside while the rest of the family fished with their improvised hook-line-and-sinker. We passed by a cornfield – and he learned that it had been a cornfield all this time. We smelled and probably stepped on goat manure and he learned those circle thingies had been that.

        “I can’t believe I have walked this far,” he would say.

        We finally arrived at the seaside – people jogging, fishing, playing sports, singing songs. We sat on the edge and he exclaimed upon seeing a sea snake. We went farther and saw little crabs (Do you call them crablets?) and a school of fish. I asked him if those fish in the school are smarter than the other fish. He would smile. I’m glad his being smart has not compromised humor.

        It was around six and the sun had begun to set. It was my time to share a trivia. I told him the sunset only becomes beautiful because of dust. I stared at it for a moment – a mix of indigo and orange, surrounding a huge ball of fire – all together reflected on the water. It was too bright, I could only stare at it for a time. To capture it by film or words would be inferior to the experience of being there, watching it. The sunset marked the end of the fine day that was – and the ending had to be nothing else but grandiose. I resolved that endings are not so bad after all and can even be beautiful. Though he was having so much fun watching the crabs crawl, I had to take his hand. It was getting dark. We started walking back because it was time to go home.

How I bought Gifts for My Nephews and Niece

I realized it is not easy to be a true gift giver. Today, I went to the mall to buy stuff for my nephews and niece back home. I thought it wouldn't be that hard; I even ignored the annoying pains my shoes were starting to give me. I thought: 1 hour. Not hard. Not like choosing a pair of shoes or dress for myself. Just stuff for kids; it should be busy.

Any loving and sweet aunt would want to buy her nephews exactly what they say they want. In my case, it's a dictionary (not just any dictionary; a dictionary for kids, colors, illustrations, example sentences and everything) and a Puff, the Magic Dragon story book.

Puff, the Magic Dragon is a really short story, one could just download it from the net and print it. But for an aunt to tell this to a 3 year old is not being sweet or endearing (which is how aunts should be). I figured, that dragon story had to be in a glossy paper with drawings of Puff (who is the dragon) and Jackie (the boy there) playing by the sea.

To shop in a bookstore like National bookstore can be sometimes stressful, especially when it's a children's book you are looking for. Besides that some customer service personnel can be so discouraging, there are just a bunch of stuff to choose from. Just looking at all those books made me forget about what I was really looking for. For like an hour or more, I found myself getting a hold of 3 books. After minutes of debating with myself, I asked again, "what does he really want?" Well I remembered it's a Puff, the Magic Dragon story book so I asked one of the frowning salesladies to help me. With a sad and dry face, she told me it was out for bargain sale.

Saleslady: It's hard to find it. It's probably ugly now. It's probably even misplaced in the business section. (And I would not bother looking for it - with my bad mood and everything.)

I get it.

I had to forget about Puff. Looking for the best alternative, I decided to buy him a collection of stories, I believe every child should know. The Gingerbread Man. The Ugly Duckling. The Emperor's New Clothes. I even had to remind myself of the importance of my decision at the moment. It would influence my nephew's future. It would spark his interest in literature which is a springboard to other worlds for him and would help him with skills in critical thinking, in decision making and judging what is good and what is not. Then suddenly I remembered my Mom: how she surprised me with books when I was little, how my first story book, William Tell made me realize that amidst all the difficulties of life, there will always be a way out. And then we become better persons. I was touched but I could not be so emotional. I had to decide fast and well.

A collection of stories for my 3 year old nephew, it is.

It was not that hard choosing a book for my 7 year old nephew. Just beside the story book was a Collin's illustrated dictionary for 5 years old and up. Good one. A little expensive but it's okay. And his birthday is coming up. It dawned on me, that choosing a gift does not only depend on what the recipient wanted. It is also a matter of asking whether they are worth the price. An expensive item becomes affordable when it is for someone worth the expense.

Choosing stuff for infants is another challenging thing to do. Especially when your legs are already in pain. It is challenging, but very interesting, especially if it's for a little girl. I realized that deciding on the gift in itself is a deeply relational thing. I could have decided to buy her a toy. But no, I did not want her to play; I wanted to see her in a beautiful, pink blouse for people to marvel at her. I felt beauty had to be celebrated and I wanted her to celebrate with me. I realized later it was my heart I was trying to give her and that it was more expensive than the blouse.

Besides the kind or the price, size is also one big issue in buying for someone, especially when we are talking about a breastfed, fast-growing chubby 1 year old boy. The last time I saw him was a month ago. Who knows how much he has grown since then. And so, here is when we try to make the best judgments. Not too big, nor too small. I was even tempted to buy a big one, to be safe. In case it does not fit him, it goes to his older brother. But no. I was buying a gift for him. Not for anyone else. It had to fit just right.

I took a silent sigh of relief when I was already at the counter, paying. I looked at the things I bought and I was proud and happy for myself. I was also excited for my nephews and niece to get them. I realized I have been a young child once. I know how it feels to receive gifts. I was not a gift connoisseur but I quite knew which ones were given from the heart. I do not know. I just knew. It is not material things we give to children. It is our heart that we share to them, which to me is priceless, can not be on bargain sale, and will always be worth the pain in the legs.

What is the Color of the Sky?

When I was 5 years old and in kindergarten, our teacher asked us, "What is the color of the sky?" Every hand shoot in the air except mine and before the teacher called for someone to answer, every one said, "Blue, blue, blue, blue," except me who remembered the color of the sky during sunset.

I raised my hand and said, "Ma'am, sometimes it is orange."

Everyone looked at me as if I was some rebel and in chorus, yelled, "No! No! The color of the sky is blue. The color of the sky is blue."

You know how kids sound when they are yelling at the same time so the teacher tried to catch our attention. The teacher told them to be quiet, looked at me and said, "Jill, the color of the sky is blue."